Life and death is such a common stuff which happen every day.

I was waken up by my mum on thurs, and was told that grandama passed away.
Lying on the bed, I'm speechless. Watching my mum cried was indeed... helpless.
Went back to msia immediately. What I saw was my grandma lying in the coffin.
She, with makeup on, nicely dressed in traditional clothing, look so peaceful there.
I felt so unfamiliar. totally. she shouldnt be there, yet.

Memories start to form in my head.
How she take care of me and my bro for that 5 yrs. Her voice, her cooking, her movement.
I was told that she even passed $200 to my uncle, that it is for us, when we get married.
That's the moment I felt my heart was so tightly stringed together. Beating so heavily.

Didnt really sleep for the past 4 days, a lot of procedures to get along.
A lot of mixed feelings flowing thru and fro.
Finally, things are settled ytd. Grandma is beside grandpa now. :]

I just hope my mum is able to sleep like usual and work like usual.

Sometime, things are so hard to accept. Time is needed.

A very big thanks to you.
 Happy 17th!

Well, ytd was a night.
I was over the phone with baby aft wrk.
Just abt sometime, I barely can see nor hear his voice.
My hands & feets feel cold. I fall and black out.
It really scare me out, luckily the ppl ard was helpful enough.
Baby sent me to the clinic, and yah I got a fever.

Am so worried, I've alot of probs going on in my body recently.
Hope things will be back to normal aft all the medication.
;[

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Went bkk with mum, bro and gf over the weekend.
It was freaking tired, with all the walking.
Was nice thou, esp toot-toot!!

Issues keep emerging recently, idk if I'm oversensitive.
Or perhaps, I'm under this exams stress. 
But I hope it wouldnt get any worser,
cos I've poured almost 100% of my thinking and feelings.
I hate showing how deep it goes, yet can I hide it well.
I dont want my heart to feel so heavy, and aimlessly. 

At that moment, I feel I just lost all my faith,
but now, I gain back what I called, bliss.
I'm glad things didnt get any worse..

Or well, Shall see.

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Back to sunday, it was in a total mess..
1. Bf lost money on his poker
2. Plan for meeting my frds was 'canceled' instantly
3. In turn, bf bought a pair of $100+ shoe for entering club
4. Rushing dinner before 11pm
5. Running like a bull for cab
6. I hate vomiting
7. Friend was badly drunk
8. Bf fell on flight of stair

9 Aug, just bring back the luck dude. :]

I feel like a queen since 15 months back.

For now, I get agitated when menses is here.
Nv did he fail to calm me down, & make me smile for all this while.

He's such a nice guy, and I hope this will goes on
Just by looking at him, and I feel everything is sufficient.

And well, I pray the every-lil-tiny one will come back.